Salonology.

I recently spent a day in Beverly Hills, 90210, with my mother and my aunt. I wasn't there for me. I spent most of that time in the Joseph Martin hair salon. What a world that is. I wasn't feeling super great that morning (Ya. 9am. No breakfast. Hair fumes and facelifts everywhere.) First, let me just say, I don't like sitting in a hair salon with nothing to do. The people watching is great, don't get me wrong. Its the mirrors I can't stand. I spent a good 2 hours looking at myself in every direction. I noticed my left profile is much more flattering for my face. (Actually, I noticed that my right side wasn't, I'm a glass half empty kind of guy I guess.) Once I got over seeing myself in the mirrors, I realized that they could be used in the fine art of people watching to great effect. I was listening to the conversation next to me while watching the people in front of me and the people on the street behind me. CIA application incoming.

My mom made mention that the big salon guy in this particular salon is none other than Emmy-nominated host of the Style network's Peter Perfect program, Peter Ishkhans. (Yea, I had no idea who that was either.) However, wikipedia-ing a person standing right in front of you, then going through their google images was a highlight of that morning. I say "a" highlight, because the other was trying to take a picture of him with my phone without him knowing...

Welcome Peter. You should have won that Emmy. You were robbed. (It was only a daytime Emmy.)

The other thing I noticed about a hair salon, is that much like a doctor's waiting room, where you wonder what everyone has; the first place you look is instantly at their hair. And even worse, by about 30 minutes in, I had an opinion about every person's hair. One lady came in with a pixie style, short cut (think Emma Watson, I know I was) and left looking exactly the same. She spent a good hour there. I don't know what she did, but I know that I didn't like it coming in and I didn't like it coming out. My least favorite lady, had long, frizzy brown hair down to her lower back with blonde streaks in it. She was probably 60. (She was probably 50, but she looked 60.) I think I was most bothered by the fact that she was at a fancy hair salon, where presumably the options are endless and she could shave years off her look, and she chose to look like she did. I know this, because she was there getting her blonde streaks re-done. Terrible. I also got one of her. The heater she is under, I found out, was a Halo-Heater. It rotated around her for like 30 minutes. I still haven't figured out how that is better or necessary.

She was also really mean to the ladies that clean and sweep up, that's probably why I didn't mind not liking her very much. (That and the hair.) So go. Sit in a place you would never be normally. Watch. Learn. Study. It was not the worst. You may even run into a losing daytime Emmy nominated cable TV host while you're there.