Dreams come true... on TV.

I watch too much TV. I don't mind admitting that. Its mindless enjoyment, and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. However, TV as ruined me. Destroyed all sense of reality in my life. In fact, I haven't had a normal sense of reality since I was 10. That's where this story begins.

Sometime around 1995, I was a religious watcher of the hit show Baywatch. Before you say anything, I had no idea, no idea what so ever that those ladies were not the best actresses, but in fact just eye candy. I can see it now, but back then, I just loved the beach drama, and therefore my life dream was to become a lifeguard. I really wanted to help people (I was a pretty idealistic kid).

Shortly after, I started watching The X-Files. While I didn't (and still don't) believe in aliens and the paranormal, and in fact if put in any situation that resembled one in the show I would probably freak out, because I am no fan of being terrified; I did want to be an FBI agent. Lifeguard was cool, but FBI was even cooler and they had so much power to do anything and go anywhere (I was a pretty power hunger kid).

Then came E.R. Are you telling me that I could have the power of an FBI agent with the life saving capabilities of a lifeguard and get paid more than both? I wanted to be a doctor. That lasted quite a while. The show also lasted quite a while. Turns out, becoming a doctor requires like a ton of school. That was a no go (I was a pretty lazy kid).

The West Wing changed my life. All I wanted to do was to talk about politics and fight the good fight and have the power and the life saving abilities but do it all from an office without the blistering sun, the danger or the blood. It was perfect. I also realized that connections and heritage play a big role in your ability to enter that arena, so the dream still persists in some degree, but is not pursued with much fervor (I was a pretty realistic kid).

Probably the most reasonable TV obsession that I could recreate in my own life is that of Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm. If ever there was a character that I could relate to, it would be a grouchy, old, Jewish man who is agoraphobic and endearingly selfish. He has really good reason for doing the things he does, just he (and I) are the only ones that understand it (I was a pretty logical kid).

But now, as I get older, I realize more and more that TV is a fantastical, unrealistic world. It is fun to watch because it is the dream but totally improbable. However, that doesn't stop me from wanting to be a high school football coach in west Texas, with my school counselor wife, like recent obsession Friday Night Lights (I'm pretty much still a kid).