Tied In Knots.

In honor of the many (many, many) friends and family taking the plunge and tying the knot this summer, I have prepared a small list of things that tie my stomach in knots.

Heights

They absolutely kill me for some reason. I feel perfectly safe in an airplane, but go to a water park and wait in line on a rickety, wood and metal scaffolding tower, and I lose it. Same goes for the first minute of basically any roller coaster. Flying around in loops is no big deal, but that slow, clicky, hill to the top that gives me ample time to contemplate the painful ways I'm going to die... not so good. I will never bungee jump, its not worth the mental torture I would put myself through.

Aging

For some reason in the last year, my aging has begun to make me nervous. I don't think 25 is old, but realizing I'm closer to 30, than to 20, is a little shocking. Its less about getting older and more about, "When did this happen?" and "When will my life reflect my age?" Those questions make me uneasy. I probably have some deep rooted failure issues, but I also probably failed to recognize them. Its kind of a nice psychological catch 22 to have.

Live Performances

For those that would consider me someone who lacks compassion, I can honestly say, that of all the things that put a knot in my stomach, none compare to watching other people perform live. I have no idea why you would ever want to perform something in front of people live, especially things that are meant to stir emotions (be it drama or comedy). Basically any teenager in a play or singing, and any comedian, are at the highest risk of total disaster. I don't cringe because its bad, I cringe because I can't imagine whats going through their head as they get no laughs, or forget their lines. Plus, what do you say to them afterward? There's nothing you can say, they did a bad job.

Asking Out Girls

I don't mind talking to girls, I don't mind asking them out. Its the whole to-do after you ask them out that I despise. Call me a pessimist, but every time I go out with a girl, I instantly imagine how terrible the fights are going to be and how disappointing the eventual breakup will turn out. I haven't even been on a first date yet and I'm thinking about how miserable I'm going to be throughout the whole relationship. That reminds me, I need a "plus one" for all these summer weddings I'm going to. Hit me up.

Confrontation

Anyone who can't relate to having their stomach in knots before a confrontation is either a masochist or way too egotisitcal, so just saying it should be enough.