An Open Letter.

Dear Girls,

Enough is really enough. In all my years as a boy, I have never felt so duped, so often. You are perpetrating a fraud and I think you know it. These giant, bug-eyed sunglasses have to stop. Its a well known fact that most people have a more attractive bottom-face than a top-face. The chin and mouth are pretty basic, (lets leave the teeth out of this, that's a whole other thing) and if judging based purely on bottom-face, most people would pass... which is exactly what you are forcing us to do.

This is about the point where most of you are going to get mad, because (gasp) I find some people more attractive than others. I would like to remind you, that your worth is not found in your looks, and that my opinion has never really counted for much of anything anyway, so away we go.

There have been times, when I have spotted you, sunglasses up, and I liked what I saw. Then... you took them off, and something was not right (for me, I'm sure someone else will find you to be... you know... whatever) and my little heart sank. (This might be a good time to mention that I was never going to talk to you, or approach you anyway, since you all scare me) But, what you were selling with those ridiculous sunglasses on, was fraudulent. Your top-face, behind those monster glasses, was not in tune with what the bottom-face was prepping me for.

So I urge you, take them off, guard your eyes another way, don't force me to guess any longer about what might be waiting behind all that unnecessary eye protection. Let your beautiful (again, to someone for sure, at least God, maybe not me, but certainly to someone/thing/deity) top-faces shine through. I can not have my love at first sight until I can see your whole, make-up plastered, true face. The sunglasses must go.

Sincerely.
Michael

PS. Case in point: Clark Kent.